Facing and Seeing
Bert Hellinger had a patient struggling with eye symptoms. He said to the patient, "Close your eyes, and say to yourself: "If it's my fate to become blind, I'll accept it.'" (The Man who Wanted to Live for a Thousand Years, p. 97.) That is how the dissolving took place, because the patient let go of his fear, he stopped excluding blindness with his fear, rather let it into his life: all he released was his fear. Suffering, accordingly, is not identical to pain: it is simply at another level. The difference is clear from a Buddhist point of view, but it isn't easy from the point of view of everyday life: it is a difference difficult to make. The reason I brought up this radical example is because it makes you realize the paradoxical meaning of facing something. You will only become in harmony with yourself and your present when you accept what exists, that is the only time when you are able to step forward. As long as external patterns distract your attention, when the greater part of your energy is bound up in insults and stories of the past, you cannot allow the present to come closer to you.
Some people would prefer not to change too much - for what's the thing that remains of themselves?
It is important to observe synchronicities, small signals and omens, symbols at an individual level, observing the whole, and seeing its framework too. It is not always important to find the solution at any cost, rather to understand the dynamics and find how you can live your life in an authentic and honest way among the given circumstances. The system will supply a framework to observe laws which are mostly true, but they do not always apply the same way to every single case. When you have the experience of being free for the first time, without the constrains of the family binding you, it is paramount for you to have the support and the basis to start out towards something and to see what you can get instead of those constrains. If you remove the support, you will remain by yourself, alone with your pain. What is it that truly helps you? To show you that your resources are infinite and that the outer world is waiting to get to know you.