Family Constellation

Why is pain so large that it must always be covered by other feelings and you cannot bear it? What is the reason why feelings press your soul with such a weight? What is it that hurts so much? It is the weight of life. When it suddenly turns out life is important and death is important. That life becomes really important when we are born and when we die. The interim period is transitional. And wavering. Sometimes you arrive in the present - then you cry or laugh. When you have already found your peace, anything is possible. Until then, you go round and round, and bring decisions about which way to go, with whom and where. Naturally, you won't forget through what and how. You remember what it was like when you brought a different decision and you still got where you wanted to go.

It is best to bring only those changes into the constellation situation which are inherently in the structure you are modeling.

"Its name is: formless form,
a picture without object,
its name is: darkness.
I walk towards it and I cannot see its face

I follow it and cannot see its back.
Follow your ancestors to rule the present.
"
Lao Tzu


Bert Hellinger sounded the key to the shared unconscious field of the family

Expressing love is as a fundamental human need as breathing air. We experience or learn its variable methods perhaps from the time of conception. Hellinger discovered the way to find the order of love. He has uncovered obvious things humanity often forgets, changes, misunderstands, or just cover it by everything else. Teachings also tell you where your place is, who you are, what you do, what is your responsibility and what isn't.

When, sitting in a group, you are participating in a process, an attention is formed in you and around you where unconscious things can be felt. That's how wrinkles tucked in can be smoothed out and great wounds can be healed and cleansed, so inner monologues can sit and be distilled into quietude and your goals in life will appear all the clearer.

The three basic pillars of family constellation work found in ancient tradition and experience 

Rule No. 1: the right to be attached and to belong, which means that everyone belongs to the family who has ever had something to do with it or will at any level.

Failing to recognize or excluding a member will incur conclusions in the system which will result in patterns of fate arching and repeating across several generations. The most frequent way this is manifested is someone's identification with an exlcuded member of the family. Every soul belongs to the family system who has ever wanted to be born there but did not; as do great first love affairs, unrequited love, relatives who died in a war - they would all like to receive a place in the unconscious space of the family. The scientific expression for that is morphogenetic fields. (It briefly means that form defines consciousness, or the contents.)

Rule No. 2: the rules, laws and hierarchies relating to time, the law of someone's place

That person will have priority who first arrived in the system. The notion of parents' responsibility towards their child is paramount here. That person will have more rights in the system who has a greater responsibility. Respect and acceptance of parents - this says you can only truly accept yourself if you acept your parents as they are, if they join each other in your soul, and give each other support. You can only become yourself when you have integrated your parents' patterns. This internal hierarchy also applies to brothers and sisters.

Rule No. 3: the law of balance of getting and giving. This is a basic law of nature which has an especially important role in human society. We strive to establish equality in partner relationships. E.g. if someone gets too much from their partner and is unable to return the favor, he os she will start to feel bad after a while and would like to get even. This is not always something you can grasp with your senses; turning towards the other person, the attention you pay, preparing a warm dinner, or a nice and loving gesture are sometimes sufficient to restore Order.

There is a difference of levels in the relationship of a parent to a child: parents will give and children will accept. That is the oder of life. That is how they can in turn give to their children what they received from their parents. That is the healthy way energy is transferred in a family. (That does not mean at all that an adult child was not supposed to help their his/her mother if they can - all the more.) In truth we can never be grateful enough to our parents.

One-to-one constellation work, individual consultation

Personal consultations have multiple functions. One chief role is that one-to-one constellation sessions are easier to handle for people who are more comfortable with being present at one-to-one situations: a space is formed where their healing process can be realized.

Personal conversation also plays an important part in establishing a relationship based on mutual trust between the counsellor and the client.

The road I am treading is the road towards knowledge. Since this road presents the way across myself, it is going to be different for each person; it will lead you to knowledge through yourself.


Anna is a most dynamic facilitator with the deepest empathy and a special sensitivity for collective issues, and she digs deep. You will embrace change at her workshop.
(James)